Monkey's Uncle, 1985: Fun With Atheism

Monkey's Uncle
Fun With Atheism Issue, Fall/Winter 1985
Editor: E.T. Babinski

ARE YOU AN ATHEIST?	(TAKE THIS SIMPLE TEST TO FIND OUT!)
Question #1	Do You Have Free Will? (A) Yes (B) No
Question #2	What Do You Say After Receiving An Unexpected Sock In The Face? (A) "God Damn!" (B) "Blind Chance!"
Question #3	Is It Possible To Stand On A Platform Outside The Universe And Snipe At It? (A) Yes. (B) No.
The Following Questions Are Either True Or False Circle The Correct Answer): Man Is A Machine The Manufactures Manure... True? Or False? The Average Human Being Is Close To 70% Water (H²0) True? Or False? Human Beings Were Invented By Water As A Device For Transporting Itself From One Place To Another... True? Or False?
ESSAY QUESTION (Worth Nearly The Whole Enchilada): A) Pretend That You Are God B) Pretend That You Are Nothing. Examine The Universe And Alternate Furiously Between Pretensions. After completing this test, rish it to Monkey's Uncle where your score will be calculated by a million monkeys entering a million digits every millisecond on a million pocket calculators for a million years, at the end of which time... All of the monkeys will have expired, along with the warranties on the pocket calculators. So don't expect a prompt, certified, special delivery letter in the mail, letting you know if you're an atheist or not. I guess we each have to decide that for ourselves.